The Mysterious Cookie Thief
by ScarletRedfox
Summary: L is working to find the culprit that dared to steal from his precious cookie jar.


**The Mysterious Cookie Thief**

 **Hello dear readers!** This is my **first time writing a Death Note fic** so I apologize if some characters seemed too OOC! I haven't watched Death Note in a while so I may write L a little too OOC, forgive me!

 **The inspector (who I dubbed as "cookie thief" here)** will continue to be **nameless,** I originally meant for Matsuda to be the culprit, but I couldn't bring myself to have to write how L kicks him in the face later ^_^

 **Enjoy!**

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„Let's assume he really did eat the cookie…when exactly was that supposed to happen?" L's question threw the Soichiro off guard, who backed away with wide eyes.

"What? But he had the means! He was only two rooms away from where the cookie jar was located on the kitchen counter! He had plenty of time to cross the rooms and-"

"And that's where you're wrong," L's firm voice left no room for arguments, "As you said, he needed to cross two rooms in order to access the kitchen and take a cookie out of the jar, as well as eat it before any of us enter the kitchen and catch him in the act." His gaze was impenetrable, "So I ask again: _when_ was he supposed to do that?"

L wasn't in the mood to wait for the dumbstruck detectives to collect their wits about them it seemed, "As we know, the dear inspector was watching TV two rooms away, seated comfortably on the couch. His show ended at eight-thirty sharp so the inspector had no more reason to watch. It takes only minutes for someone to realize their appetite once their attentions draws away from a task or in the inspector's case, the TV. Upon confirmation of his growing hunger, he decided a snack was in order, that's why we will most likely find fresh fingerprints on the telephone if we choose to investigate further. By dialing the number of the room service, he wanted to order a small snack, unbeknownst to anyone. However, just before he dialed the last number, he ended the call."

Matsuda piped in, "Why would he end the call? He could have just called room service and they would bring him anything he wanted," he scratched at his hair in confusion.

L lifted a finger, "That's quite simple really. Before dialing the last number he suddenly remembered me refilling my cookie jar yesterday so he dropped the call and decided to steal from me," he gave a pointed look at the scared inspector.

L closed his eyes, "A man of his height, weight and physical condition, the inspector needed over forty seconds to cross the two rooms and reach the kitchen. He needed twenty seconds to locate the cookie jar, another two seconds to open the lid and reach his hand inside. Another seven seconds to start chewing on it and the dry remains to mix with his saliva, upon hearing our footsteps nearing the kitchen, a feeling of panic overwhelmed him and he quickly swallowed down the rest of his unprocessed cookie. I'm sure if we were willing to go through all the trouble we would find small scratches caused by the hard pieces of the cookie remains located directly on the surface of his esophagus." He held one cookie up in the air as if to demonstrate something.

He rotated the cookie a little sideways, "The flesh of our esophagus is tender and soft, coming into contact with the hard, dry texture of let's say a cookie, can cause miniscule scratches to be made on its surface, however those are insignificant and rather small, so they can't be looked at by normal means," L turned toward the cookie thief, "Your heart rate picked up quite considerably, judging by how your pupils dilated when we entered the room, the fine sheen of sweat covering your throat and forehead the closer we got to you and asked why you were in the kitchen where you had been previously watching television."

He turned toward Matsuda, "I'm sure you've noticed how nervous your colleague looked right?"

The detective stiffened at the serious tone of L, "Y-yes, as a matter of fact I have!" he managed to squeak out without stuttering, feeling the tenses in the room grow.

L turned toward the culprit again, "By the time we entered you have just so managed to swallow the cookie, if we were to open your stomach now...we would still find the undigested remains as it requires a far longer time for food to be digested and processed,"

His eyes darkened and before the inspector could react, L suddenly kicked him in the stomach, a little above his navel, causing him to, among a little spit, cough out bits and pieces of what appeared to be brown pieces of the chocolate cookie.

L straightened again and the detectives all circled around the one laying on the floor, looking quite afraid of the usually lazy genius before them.

"R-Ryuzaki, w-why have you done this?!" the poor man exclaimed with a cough, voice hoarse.

L turned his head just so, dark eyes with bags under them locking with fearful brown ones, "An eye for an eye, my friend," the dark aura surrounding the genius prompted the other adults to back away. Soichiro almost thought he looked like a demon.

The lazy genius left them alone, sacred cookie jar securely tucked into his arms, one hand holding a cookie with index finger and thumb, munching on them with a satisfied smile.

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 **The end of this short piece of randomness! I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading! :) Reviews are always welcome!**


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